I know the title may seem a little out there of this particular post, but over Memorial Day weekend I was literally grilled. Well, it at least felt like it as I was a guest author for a prominent book club in New Jersey called the Kitabu Reading & Discussion Group.
To be honest as a first time author, this was my very first book club face to face sitdown. Unfortunately I went in thinking it was going to be like the Oprah book club type deal of same o, same o questions everyone always asks me. How did you do this, or that, and why so young, BUT this time it was different very very different.
When I first walked into the home of one of the members, I was excited as I smelled BBQ! The backyard was nicely arranged just like a home and garden magazine shoot. I was like wow this is going to be great. Unfortunately it got a little chilly, and we all had to move inside and then thats when the memorial day girllout (Shootout), and fireworks began.
As the ladies poured into the home, conversations begin to pickup and then we were all called to order to start the discussion. At that moment sitting in the circle with about 9 very opionated looking sistas I knew I was in trouble. The reason being was that two of them looked at me, with the look only a married brother, or son knows. The "EYE", or the uh huh look. Sure enough my insticts were right as the barrage of questions were not the normal ones I have been accustomed to for so long, but ones with deep though needed.
The first questions started out with some of the ladies having a problem with the first chapter of my book dealing with the differences in single family households, versus "FUNCTIONAL" married households and how those children can have an advantage from a stable home life. Well some people didn't like the way it read and for the next 45 minutes, I was in a defensive mode of defending my book and why I wrote it so bluntly. After I presented my case (where was Johnny Cochran when you need him!), I finally seemed to win them over and create an understanding of why, and the peoples life circumstances I was drawing from to come to those conclusions. As an author we draw from many sources of life circumstances that play into our writings.
After I was found innocent in my trial, we had an excellent discussion on politics, and the state of Black America and solutions for our communities. This discussion lasted a few hours. I arrived at 7pm and left at midnight. I would have to say in my short 25 years on this earth, the discussion I had with these ladies was one of the most honest, candid, challenging, engaging discussions I have ever had! I loved every minute of it from being on the grill to being the griller myself!
The moral of the story is that you may intend one thing when your write something, but these days anything is open to interpretation. This was one of those discussions I wished we have gotten on tape, but maybe next time. Yes, for sure next time, especially since my next book is on failure and one of the chapters will be on communication and the power of it.
For those of you out there, looking to expand your horizons and expose yourself to ideas that normally aren't circulated in mainstream society then I highly suggest joining a book club like Kitabu. Simply amazing.
To the young seasoned ladies of Kitabu, thank you for such a great experience. I think I had added on a few years of wisdom by sitting in your presence for only a few hours. Your group is a light that sheds light on a future that many have lost hope for, but you have stoked my fire even more to change the world one reader at a time!
About Kitabu
The Kitabu Reading & Discussion Group was
established in 1996. Meeting in southern New Jersey, we are
predominately a group of African-American women (men are definitely
welcomed - different perspectives are always appreciated!) who discuss
literary works and films created by African Americans, blacks, colored,
Negroes, Africans...the black diaspora.
http://kitabureadinggroup.com/
It was quite the experience, and I thank you for it.
Look forward to many more.
Posted by: Ephren Taylor | May 31, 2008 at 11:58 PM
LOL!WOW Ephren, that was pretty tough but I'm glad to see that you were able to gain their understanding!
I actually come from a single parent home as well as being the only child. Yes you're right, there are many advantages but being Financially stable matters MOST and that is the disadvantage.
Posted by: Me'Shala Johnson | May 31, 2008 at 06:57 PM
Hi Ephren, Raoul and MeShelle,
It was a delight having you as a kitabu author. You are a man on fire and inspired me to keep the fire going as well.
You have a "good job" and we all need to find that good job that transforms us , gives purpose and puts on the road to financial health and independence.
Like Carol said in her reply, I too have purchased additional books and gave them to people who are on the cusp of change. Immediately, the phone starting ringing and the questions and delight on your approach and insight has inspired.
God Bless, remain true and keep doing what you been doing. You helped me remember... and I thank you for that.
Posted by: Alexis Irving | May 30, 2008 at 07:49 PM
Hello Ephren,
It was so nice meeting you, MeShelle and Raoul. What a great discussion and yes we did grill you but only a little bit! There was sooooo much more to talk about and we could easily have another 4-5 hour discussion on some of the book topics that we did not get to. But maybe we can do that. So not as much grilling as you may have felt this time but just wait till next time. I look forward to your next book but as you have already stated you had better come correct and yes we will videotape it. Your story is fascinating and your viewpoints inspiring and educational. I learned so much about your generation. And just for the record - when I grow up I want to be just like you!!!! Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Theresa Moore - Founder, Kitabu Reading & Discussion Group | May 29, 2008 at 04:43 PM
Hi Ephren, MeShelle and Raoul,
A quick note to thank you for attending our book club on Saturday night. All of us enjoyed the meeting and I was eagerly awaiting your blog on the discussion. :)
I am the attorney who now works for a college who took issue with Ephren's take on single parents (more specifically single mothers). However, I want to reiterate that I agree with much of his book, including the need for all of us to have written goals, dreams and a vision of what we can and will accomplish whether we become entrepreneurs or apply entrepreneurship principles to becoming the best we can be. I purchased four of your books and intend to give them to others, including my brother who volunteers with 'youth in need of supervision' and a younger (27) former colleague who I have no doubt will continue to find success in her personal and professional life.
Thank you for writing about our reading group and giving a shout out to reading and discussion groups. It was an honor to have Ephren attend our book club so we could learn more about his mission, the purpose of writing the book, and his vision for urban and all communities. Attending our book club and placing our listing on the site may encourage and inspire others who dream of making a difference, whether economically and/or through social action and activism.
Sincerely,
Carol Waties
Posted by: Carol Waties | May 29, 2008 at 04:22 PM