I know the title may seem a little out there of this particular post, but over Memorial Day weekend I was literally grilled. Well, it at least felt like it as I was a guest author for a prominent book club in New Jersey called the Kitabu Reading & Discussion Group.
To be honest as a first time author, this was my very first book club face to face sitdown. Unfortunately I went in thinking it was going to be like the Oprah book club type deal of same o, same o questions everyone always asks me. How did you do this, or that, and why so young, BUT this time it was different very very different.
When I first walked into the home of one of the members, I was excited as I smelled BBQ! The backyard was nicely arranged just like a home and garden magazine shoot. I was like wow this is going to be great. Unfortunately it got a little chilly, and we all had to move inside and then thats when the memorial day girllout (Shootout), and fireworks began.
As the ladies poured into the home, conversations begin to pickup and then we were all called to order to start the discussion. At that moment sitting in the circle with about 9 very opionated looking sistas I knew I was in trouble. The reason being was that two of them looked at me, with the look only a married brother, or son knows. The "EYE", or the uh huh look. Sure enough my insticts were right as the barrage of questions were not the normal ones I have been accustomed to for so long, but ones with deep though needed.
The first questions started out with some of the ladies having a problem with the first chapter of my book dealing with the differences in single family households, versus "FUNCTIONAL" married households and how those children can have an advantage from a stable home life. Well some people didn't like the way it read and for the next 45 minutes, I was in a defensive mode of defending my book and why I wrote it so bluntly. After I presented my case (where was Johnny Cochran when you need him!), I finally seemed to win them over and create an understanding of why, and the peoples life circumstances I was drawing from to come to those conclusions. As an author we draw from many sources of life circumstances that play into our writings.
After I was found innocent in my trial, we had an excellent discussion on politics, and the state of Black America and solutions for our communities. This discussion lasted a few hours. I arrived at 7pm and left at midnight. I would have to say in my short 25 years on this earth, the discussion I had with these ladies was one of the most honest, candid, challenging, engaging discussions I have ever had! I loved every minute of it from being on the grill to being the griller myself!
The moral of the story is that you may intend one thing when your write something, but these days anything is open to interpretation. This was one of those discussions I wished we have gotten on tape, but maybe next time. Yes, for sure next time, especially since my next book is on failure and one of the chapters will be on communication and the power of it.
For those of you out there, looking to expand your horizons and expose yourself to ideas that normally aren't circulated in mainstream society then I highly suggest joining a book club like Kitabu. Simply amazing.
To the young seasoned ladies of Kitabu, thank you for such a great experience. I think I had added on a few years of wisdom by sitting in your presence for only a few hours. Your group is a light that sheds light on a future that many have lost hope for, but you have stoked my fire even more to change the world one reader at a time!
About Kitabu
The Kitabu Reading & Discussion Group was
established in 1996. Meeting in southern New Jersey, we are
predominately a group of African-American women (men are definitely
welcomed - different perspectives are always appreciated!) who discuss
literary works and films created by African Americans, blacks, colored,
Negroes, Africans...the black diaspora.
http://kitabureadinggroup.com/


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